Pinnacle of Purpose Counseling |

The Good, The Bad, The “What In The Entire What”: 2020 In Review

admin — Mon, 01 Feb 2021 03:45:26 +0000

Going into 2020 I’m sure you were excited about new beginnings and new opportunities in both your personal and professional lives. I’m sure you, like many people, never imagined 2020 would come offering all of the twist, turns and burdens that it presented to each one of us. From Coronavirus, to ongoing racial tension, to the confrontational political climate and the release of the COVID-19 vaccine 2020 proved to be a lot of “what the entire what” is going on here. The year 2020 did not let up! I remember having conversations with family, friends and colleagues about each event as it unfolded on the local and national news. I remember being faced with some affirming views and other perspectives that were just downright difficult to digest. I’m sure you found yourself in similar spaces-feeling heard in one conversation and misunderstood in another.

Mental health professionals all over the world were being called on to advise citizens on how to protect their mental and emotional space. Being both a mental health professional and someone who felt the overwhelming despair of 2020 right alongside each of you let me just say, 2020 was HARD! Like, legit difficult. However, I believe there is power in honoring the difficulty that was experienced throughout last year. I believe there is power in honoring the frustration that 2020 brought to each life, family member, home and community.

Only through the lens of difficulty and frustration are we able to recognize our true resiliency. Merriam-Webster defines resiliency as the ability of something to return to its original size after being compressed; and/or, an ability to recover from or adjust easily to adversity or change.

You did just that.

You panicked (as we all did, lol). You were fearful. Uncertain. Disconnected. Unemployed. Lonely. Sad. Isolated. We felt unsettled. Scared. Concerned. Overwhelmed. Angry. Outraged. Disregarded. Minimized. Unloved. Unseen. Unheard.

What good can come of that? How can there be positives in the midst of that negative energy? Who would dare say, “Let us celebrate how far we have come?” You’ve got that right!

Me. I say, “Let us celebrate how far you’ve come!”

While, 2020 was something, it challenged extroverts to pause, rest and reflect. On the other hand, it challenged introverts to reach out to family, friends and utilize platforms they would otherwise shy away from. It forced employees who depend on the safety net of clocking in and out , to seriously consider their lifelong dream of entrepreneurship. It pushed people into their destiny of entrepreneurship which could quite possibly build generational wealth. It tested boundaries. It forced you to practice boundary setting. It helped you to find your voice when engaging in healthy boundary setting. It exposed you to the knee-jerk emotion of guilt surrounding boundary setting so that you can become comfortable with using your voice. It introduced you to new coping strategies. 2020 helped you to adopt new hobbies and self-care practices. It humbled you. It made you realize the precious gift of life. It reminded you to laugh more. It compelled you to reach out to a loved one. It made you realize you love someone. It aided you in forgiveness. It cleared the room for you to have open-honest conversation with a spouse. It insisted you hear and/or have conversation with people who don’t look like you. It exposed hate. It offered understanding. It ushered in compassion. It introduced patience.

Sometimes, we can’t control how change comes. We can only recognize when the game has changed. The year 2020 was a game-changer, for each one of us. This journey can be utterly painful, as it slowly reveals its beauty! No one knows what will happen this year. We can’t predict the future. However, one thing I am certain of is growth has happened. You have been forever changed. You have been introduced to a new level of resiliency. Your POWER!

I can’t wait to see how the lessons of 2020 will bless your 2021.

The PRINCIPAL OF THE MATTER

admin — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 12:09:43 +0000

As a child I would hear adults in conversation and certain phrases would stand out to me-one in particular was “It’s the principle of the matter”. I remember paying close attention to the pitch in their voices, the tone and the wrinkles in their foreheads; the validation offered by everyone involved in the dialogue and at the end of what seemed like a never-ending frustrating conversation the overall consensus was- “it’s just the principle”.

I grew older. I invested my time and energy into people, into connections, into relationships. I began to understand “value”. I began to pay close attention to how I valued people, how I valued my connections, how I valued my relationships. I made it a point to model, to verbalize how I wanted to be valued. What I did not do was prepare myself for those who did not pay attention to or value me enough to…I mean, basically value me.

I found myself disappointed, feeling unworthy. Unappreciated. Angry. I found myself in conversation with friends, family members, co-workers- with a high pitch in my voice; wrinkles in my forehead; my concerns were validated- and at the end of what seemed like a never-ending %itch session the overall consensus was “it’s just the principle of the matter”.

Then a light bulb went off, it IS my responsibility to model to others how I want to be treated, valued and appreciated. It IS most definitely my responsibility to say these are the things I need to feel valued and appreciated-and when there has been an offense, it IS my responsibility to state that the offense has occurred. Then what do I do? I do nothing, I expect nothing. I just observe. Why?

First of all, value comes from within. The most powerful thing you can do is understand your worth, own it and others will begin to become aware of it. Secondly, it is not your duty to change the behavior of others; it is only your obligation to make the person aware. It is important to understand offenses will happen. It’s inevitable. People are made of error. It’s essentially what is being done after the offense has been bought to light that matters the most. In other words, what is done with the information (seen or unseen, heard or unheard) is a further testament of the value they have for you or the situation. Lastly, if you have made the person aware and the behavior goes unchanged, accept this behavior as one’s character- it’s their “principle”-and that’s just how they move when handling matters. Make a decision on how you will interact with the person moving forward, and until you see a change in their “principle”, stay consistently protecting your energy and watch those never-ending %itch sessions begin to decrease. It is not the way in which you were handled that brings resolve-it only reveals a person’s principles but the way in which you move based on how you were handled is what will bring you peace. Remember, it’s “just the principle of the matter”.

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#Becourageous #beopen #beevolving

WHY NOT

admin — Wed, 18 Apr 2018 12:09:04 +0000

When I’m asked why, I sit silently and reflect on my “why not”. In this lifetime I’ve learned to refrain myself from hasty responses and come to appreciate the power of reflection. My “why not” entails many challenges that I’ve had to encounter but it was primarily birthed out of my exposure to trauma at a young age, having to struggle with my “why” while most girls my age were absorbing all the pleasures life had to offer. Through my “why” came an understanding of people, a understanding of the power of connections and a understanding of the profound impact of disconnection. I have experienced that disconnection more than I would have liked. I grew with those disconnected. I sat with those who were disconnected. I befriended the disconnected. I lay with those who were disconnected. It became my normal. In many way I became disconnected. The light that once shined so brightly was tainted. Where I once gave freely there was distrust. Where I once moved without hesitation there was reservation.

I was in a constant state of holding back, in fear of judgement, hurt and disappointment. This created a heavy burden. I was cloudy. I felt stuck in the circumstances, bound by my past and held hostage by my actions and the actions of others. Still, there inside me was that light-a flickering dull light. Through all of my experiences-my trauma, my disappointment, my depression I could see it. I could feel the warmth of the light. Although flickering and dull it was my constant reminder that there was something greater being birthed in me.

I’m sure all of us have a story, right? Most times we are “flickering”, pressing through, making the best out of a bad situation. We have all been disappointed, hurt, or abused in some capacity or another. The major, single most important difference between you and others is the measure of your resiliency, the flickering of your light. Today, I challenge you to feel the warmth of your light. Let it ignite your spirit, rejuvenate your soul, refresh your thought processes. When they ask you “why”, whether it be in regards to a career move, starting that business, entering a new relationship-reflect on your experiences, your successes, your disappointments, your goals and let the light of your soul respond with a “why not”. You are a resilient spirit. You are courageous. Know that your light will flicker at times, your responsibility is to not let it dim out. All that you need is within you. Center yourself and instead of asking yourself “why”, pose the question to yourself…. “why not”.

Stay Courageous, gentle soul. Courageous

LOVE I LIGHT I PEACE I PURPOSE